I’ve had a few people question why I’ve taken running back up and why I’m doing different things again so this seems like the best way to answer those questions properly.
For years I’ve placed limits on my abilities- my ability to minister, to relate with people and to become physically fit again all because of anxiety. Anxiety that was telling me I’d never be good enough or I’d be mocked for even trying when in reality that’s so far from the truth- nobody would mock somebody for trying to better themselves.
After accepting a few new exciting opportunities that were so out of my comfort zone at the end of 2016 I decided to stop letting my anxiety control me. Instead I began to trust in God and myself much more and from that I made a crazy New Years resolution (yes I don’t usually agree with them either but please hear me out?).
Inspired by a beautiful friend who did something similar I decided that from 1 January- 31 December 2017 (and beyond..) I wouldn’t let my anxiety control my decisions- instead I began to pray properly and regardless of how fearful I felt and really listen to God before I replied to any opportunities presented to me.
And then the lovely Naomi asked me on the 2nd/3rd January to do the tough mudder- it was like God was laughing in my face.. yes I was scared and should never have looked at the obstacles but five weeks into training and I’m running several miles, lifting weights again and doing more than I physically have since having children. All because I stopped building barriers with excuses and began to trust and believe that I can do things.
Exercising has really helped my mindset as well as my faith- I have time to think, listen and pray if I need to and there are so many good podcasts for when I’m working out on my own that I know it isn’t lonely and horrible (as I would have thought last year).
Fear and anxiety stole several years of my fitness and other areas of my life- now I know that my faith is strong enough to not let it control me anymore and I will make the most of every opportunity given to me. We never know if we’ll get those opportunities again so please don’t let your anxiety or fear control them and rob you of memories or strengthening your faith and relationship with God because when we trust him we are capable of much more than we ever thought we would be.
Kirsty
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