What it means to have a childlike faith.

I would like to say that the revelation I’m about to share came from deep study and prayer (eventually it did!) but the initial ‘wow’ moment was just watching our children play. How awesome that God speaks in those times as much as when we’re sat studying and praying.

My friend has the most beautiful little boy and he recently began to walk. It was while I sat watching him that I realised that it’s a perfect example to portray childlike faith.

Jesus asks for us to remain childlike because we are born to believe that our parents are omniscient – yup parents; your child expects you to know everything all the time (which explains the 10,000 questions a day I guess). But this I believe is key to the whole understanding of this idea.

If you watch a child that is learning to walk, they cruise along the furniture, initially really proud of themselves for getting up and doing something different. But when they come to learn how to walk and they take those first tentative steps then the faith really kicks in.

Anybody who has children or been around small children will know how exciting it is when a child is stood facing their parent and holds their arms out all wobbly and manages just to take those few small steps into their mum/ dads arms. Knowing that our children believe that we are omniscient and trust wholeheartedly in us makes that possible.

Children are born with total trust and reliance on their parents and slowly realise that they’re not always perfect, they don’t always have the answers.

If we learnt to walk as an adult when some of that faith had been stripped away would those steps look the same? Perhaps this is why we struggle with the concept of becoming childlike- we know that nobody has all the answers, nobody really wants what is best for us 100% of the time right? But if we could just go back to accepting and not questioning Gods reliability and steadfastness then I believe we’d all be like little children taking those tentative steps with our gaze totally transfixed on our parent (God).

Even if we don’t always hear the answers we want or fully understand what is going on we don’t have to lose that trust like a small child would- because we know that God is always faithful and always there wanting the very best.

Childlike faith doesn’t ask for answers and understanding, it just asks Him to understand and be there…

Kirsty x

Day 114 of 365..

 

I’ve had a few people question why I’ve taken running back up and why I’m doing different things again so this seems like the best way to answer those questions  properly.

For years I’ve placed limits on my abilities- my ability to minister, to relate with people and to become physically fit again all because of anxiety. Anxiety that was telling me I’d never be good enough or I’d be mocked for even trying when in reality that’s so far from the truth- nobody would mock somebody for trying to better themselves.

After accepting a few new exciting opportunities that were so out of my comfort zone at the end of 2016 I decided to stop letting my anxiety control me. Instead I began to trust in God and myself much more and from that I made a crazy New Years resolution (yes I don’t usually agree with them either but please hear me out?).

Inspired by a beautiful friend who did something similar I decided that from 1 January- 31 December 2017 (and beyond..) I wouldn’t let my anxiety control my decisions- instead I began to pray properly and regardless of how fearful I felt  and really listen to God before I replied to any opportunities presented to me.

 

And then the lovely Naomi asked me on the 2nd/3rd January to do the tough mudder- it was like God was laughing in my face.. yes I was scared and should never have looked at the obstacles but five weeks into training and I’m running several miles, lifting weights again and doing more than I physically have since having children. All because I stopped building barriers with excuses and began to trust and believe that I can do things.

Exercising has really helped my mindset as well as my faith- I have time to think, listen and pray if I need to and there are so many good podcasts for when I’m working out on my own that I know it isn’t lonely and horrible (as I would have thought last year).

Fear and anxiety stole several years of my fitness and other areas of my life- now I know that my faith is strong enough to not let it control me anymore and I will make the most of every opportunity given to me. We never know if we’ll get those opportunities again so please don’t let your anxiety or fear control them and rob you of memories or strengthening your faith and relationship with God because when we trust him we are capable of much more than we ever thought we would be.

 

Kirsty

x

A Benefit Cap at Christmas?

 

Before you you read this please know that I am not intending this to be political or biased towards any  class of person, my intentions are purely to encourage people to love more and help one another.

Today thousands and thousands of families and lone parents face dealing with huge cuts in their benefits, regardless of their social status I believe that as Christians, and also as compassionate human beings we should be encouraged to love and help eachother and this is a time when people really need help.

“Research by the Chartered Institute of Housing suggests 320,000 children will be affected (estimating 115,000 households are impacted) with families losing up to £100 a week” this was taken from this BBC article printed today. I work 40 hours a week and I know I couldn’t afford to pay for everything  if our income went down by such an amount so to me whether a person is working or unable to work now is irrelevant, it is weeks before Christmas and thousands of families with children are having to face potential homelessness or at very least huge cut backs.

I came across this illustration also from C.S. Lewis, One day, Lewis and a friend were walking down the road and came upon a street person who reached out to them for help. While his friend kept walking, Lewis stopped and proceeded to empty his wallet. When they resumed their journey, his friend asked, “What are you doing giving him your money like that? Don’t you know he’s just going to go squander all that on ale?” Lewis paused and replied, “That’s all I was going to do with it.” Whether you believe in stereotypes or not, our morning coffee or trip out for lunch occasionally is a luxury, one that many can’t afford right now and that is why I chose this quote. Some will always assume a stereotypical attitude and that is why I’m not intending to write politically, instead I am writing from a place of compassion and empathy less than 50 days before Christmas. Because there are so many children and families that regardless of that stereotype and whether they fit, need extra help now.

I’m not saying we should go and give everything we have (as much as that would be amazing), but even a small thing can make a huge difference to one of those families right now.

Foodbanks are incredible sources of help that are being used more and more, however they are not government funded. If we all bought something small on top of our shop that would go a long way to helping those who already need help plus these extra thousands of families.

As well as normal grocery shopping  please consider donating something fun like an advent calendar or selection box (or even small toys), these type of things may only cost you and I less than our morning coffee but they make a huge difference to a family at the bottom of their bank balance.

Local churches and children’s centres often do toy drives and contact the relevant authorities to distribute those.

As Christians we are meant to love our neighbours and surely that means helping them too? But regardless of your faith or beliefs we all have the ability to make a huge difference.

Call me old fashioned but I truly believe that it does take a village to raise a child, and right now I’m asking everyone to become that village and help in anyway we can to lessen the impact of this cap on those that really need help.

We cannot raise a future generation of leaders whilst knowing more and more of them are edging into poverty, so please consider giving up just a few pounds (or even time volunteering for those organisations that can help) and help to soften the blow for these families this Christmas.

Kirsty

No one has ever become poor by giving: Anne Frank 

 

Graceful Parenting

Some of my most vivid memories of my childhood are painful ones (well actually all of them are), sadly not just because of physical reasons but the things that were said. Verbal statements do much more damage to somebody trying to grow up in a world already full of unachievable high standards.

‘if you don’t do this then I won’t talk to you’

‘if you turn up pregnant at 16 I’ll kick you out’

‘if you become like x,y or z’ then you’re not our child’

Yes sure they are harsh examples but those statements have hung over my head (and several people who I know) to this day.

My biggest issue when I became a christian was trying to understand how God’s grace actually works; sure I ‘understood it’ but I don’t believe I fully accepted it until recently.

For four years I still mentally conditioned myself to being ‘the perfect daughter’, after all if earthly parents place so many conditions on love why wouldn’t God?

I’m not going to try to explain how I accepted that God’s grace (I don’t know how to put that into words yet), I want to ask that you consider the things you joke about to your children.

Saying they ‘shouldn’t’ do certain things- we all do it. However if we don’t teach our children the reality of having their own children young, of taking drugs, of refusing to stick with education then we are just adding to a list of rules.

Ultimately we need them to see the world for what it is, that includes everything that is in it; but most of all they need unconditional love.

I want my children to know that if they mess up I will never stop loving them, if they do something silly it isn’t the end of the world and my love for them doesn’t decrease.

The conditional love that I saw placed on everybody I was close to growing up was so hurtful and damaging and I believe that is why there are so many groups now dedicated to reshaping the way the future generations are raised.

I’m not saying children don’t need discipline; the opposite in fact, children need guidance and lots of it but there are ways to do it in love and not with fear. I’m the first to admit I do sometimes shout but we always talk it out and apologise to each other afterwards (she realises that I am human too and now laughs about it with me when I mess up!)

If God can accept us as His children and all of the hundreds of mistakes we make then it cannot be seen as fair to place conditions on how much you love your child.

It has taken me almost 7 years of parenting to realise that nothing my children do could make me love them any less, it actually makes me insanely proud to watch my oldest figure things out and think about the consequences now.

I believe that if we raise our children with the same grace that God shows us they would grow to be an incredible generation capable of anything.

Next Stop Please

Recently Dave and I were talking about how it just feels like we are stood at an underground station just waiting….  Except we don’t know what we’re waiting for, or where our ‘train’ will even be taking us. This made us feel slightly frustrated as we expected to have everything planned out and be able to plan and move towards the ‘next stop’ a little easier. However I’m now grateful that we don’t know what comes next and that we have this time just to ‘be’.

‘The small things matter the most’

Today it feels as though we have to constantly jump from one ‘train’ straight to the next one without taking a huge amount of time to process anything. Society expects everyone to leave school and go to college or enter into an apprenticeship, then you have to go to university or take the first steps to furthering your career. But don’t forget you also need to be trying to meet ‘the one’ too! Then you need the mortgage, and to travel.. and to have children. There doesn’t appear to be anyone telling our generation (or any other) that it’s ok to stop (or even just breathe!!)

In fact we need to stop, or at least pause just to take in exactly what has happened in our lives and properly consider and pray for what comes next.

We left university and moved to take time to invest in our little family unit before going on to whatever step of our life is next- it wasn’t always understood but I am so glad we did. I’m thankful for the calm after three years of a very crazy degree journey and two babies. Thankful for the peace and quiet and not having more pressure put on the kiddies.

If Jesus took time off to pray and rest and  be alone why would we think we can live without downtime? (Mk. 6:30-32, Mk. 7:24, Lk. 6:12-13.) Also God created the universe and even he needed to rest!!

Take a look at your diary and consider the next fully free day.. then think about how Jesus went about managing his time and ministry. Are you too busy to handle people suddenly needing your time or friendship? Did Jesus have to pencil somebody in for prayer three weeks later? .. Jesus modelled God’s intentions for us all yet we choose to ignore the way that he never rushed, he would stop and help anybody that needed it. There was no five year plan, no hidden agenda. Ultimately the human race was not designed to be placed under the intense stress and pressure that we face today.

We are human, there isn’t one person reading this that will have more capacity than any other- each one of us is capable of so much before we burn out. We need sleep, time between activities and time to properly rest. Also we need to find somebody that is willing to check if we are actually taking the time that we desperately need.

Don’t feel pressured into taking on more than you can handle, there are enough people in this world that can take over one thing that you can’t commit 100% to, and don’t feel that you need to be on the next ‘train’ journey straight after the last. Taking a break between life stages is never a bad thing!

 

I am grateful for having the last few months to slow down and help me to understand this so much better than I did, and I hope you consider whether you are making the best use of your time and energy.

Kirsty

x

 

 

 

 

Your Church needs ‘you’

What if we are all attending Church for the wrong reasons?

I’m not talking about only going to Church for the worship or the preacher or our friends… we all know they’re not reasons to be in a particular Church.

What about those who go to Church and don’t stop to consider why?

Yes we all need to go and hear the word and be ministered to and I would never argue with that obviously.

But what about the reason ‘you’ are called to your church?

I don’t believe for a second you are there to keep a seat full (or warm)

We are all aware that the Church is the body of Christ right? But what does that mean in practice?

There are obviously the spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 12)- we each have different ones and different ways of discerning certain situations yes and that is incredible!

But your Church needs ‘you’.. not just your giftings. You are just as important as any of those on the ‘leadership teams’.
As a body is made up of several different parts the Church is made up of several different people with different giftings, experiences and personalities. So why does your church need you?

It needs your honesty and vulnerability.

It desperately needs your willingness to relate to people where others cannot.

Your pastor can’t do it all- if you’ve been through a tough situation you will probably have needed somebody that could relate to that.. ‘you’ are that person in your church.

You are the single mum who new single mums come to chat to when they face tough times and need somebody that ‘gets it’

You are the guy who has overcome an addiction that your pastor knows will hold others accountable.

You are the married couple who went through really tough times and now have the knowledge enough to help others.

 

Please don’t go to church just for you… go and be you.

 

An X-rated Dilemma

Pornography is everywhere we go now, from the pictures your ‘friends’ share on social media to the adverts and shop windows you see walking down the high street. It’s everywhere… except church.

Yes that should be a good thing but what if it isn’t?

Could the ignorance towards pornography be creating a larger divide between church and society, or at least another reason not to go for those who see using pornography as ‘normal’?

After studying how the church should be dealing with porn and the dangers that come with it (especially for teenagers) I was shocked and quite frustrated to find that out of all of the churches I questioned I found that only one had spoken to their youth about porn. One!!.

I don’t know why it isn’t spoken of, perhaps because it isn’t in the Bible so people don’t know how to teach on the issue, except the Bible is explicit in what is expected with regards to lust and self control.

Students across one region of the UK (all aged 14) were questioned recently and every male admitted to viewing porn regularly. These are 14 year old boys who are members in our churches and we dismiss a huge part of their daily life as if it isn’t happening.

If church is a place for the broken and those with addictions then we need to step up and help.

• Church needs to become transparent.. leaders and members have to be willing to be honest about their experience- porn is an addiction and ignoring and dismissing the first person to mention it is not going to help anybody.
• Accountability, you wouldn’t leave an alcoholic home alone with cash and expect them not to drink so if someone you know is struggling with porn there are accountability programs worth using or even just check up on them and be there for them.
• SEX.. is no longer just about the birds and bees.. parents have a tough job raising kids and facing questions of sexuality and all that comes with it now.. churches should consider helping parents discern what to speak about or even offer a mature couple to meet with several parents (and perhaps their children) as a group.

Getting church members to talk honestly and openly about porn may be tough but without it church faces the danger of becoming more and more ‘irrelevant’ .. if we cannot be transparent and break down the taboo of such a huge issue then we face losing so many people who are struggling with an issue everyday and having it ignored by the one place that is intended to love and help.

A leader cannot afford to avoid the topic solely because they don’t want to offend people.. Christianity isn’t meant to be comfy and we don’t go to church to leave feeling warm and fuzzy- if we’re going to change the world we need to change the mindset of those on the front row first. Inevitably talking about porn and the repercussions of using porn will be the job of your whole congregation so they must understand just how real the issue has become. If your leader has never mentioned porn or sexuality- ask them why, it may be that they are worried about offending and aren’t sure how to approach the issue.

However your church decides to approach the topic please don’t be naive enough to exclude women.. porn is a very real addiction to both men and women, and if a women isn’t personally finding porn an issue they will need to understand the issues that it raises and why so many other people find it appealing.

 

 

Resources.

She’s somebody’s daughter: a thought provoking dvd available to download here,

Captured by a better vision: An excellent eye opening book that is honest about the reality of porn use in Christian life.